You know how painful it can be if you’ve ever been cheated on. Your trust has been betrayed, and your heart feels like it’s been ripped out of your chest. You might even feel like you’ll never be able to trust again. But what if the tables were turned? What if you had the opportunity to take cheating revenge? Would you do it?
Revenge cheating, also known as “cheating back”, is when someone who has been cheated on cheats on their partner in return. It’s a way of getting back at them for the pain and hurt they’ve caused. While there is no guarantee that revenge will make your partner feel the same pain that you felt, it can be satisfying to know that you’ve gotten even.
But before you decide to cheat, you should consider a few things. In this guide, we’ll explore what revenge cheating is, the possible consequences of taking revenge, and how to get on with your life after cheating.
What Is Relationship Revenge Cheating?
Relationship revenge cheating is when someone has cheated on their partner in return. It’s a way of getting back at them for the pain and hurt they’ve caused.
While there is no guarantee that revenge cheating will make your partner feel the same pain that you felt, it can be satisfying to know that you’ve gotten even.
The conception of revenge is widely debated. Some people believe that it’s morally wrong to cheat on someone, regardless of the reasons behind it. Others believe cheating is acceptable if it’s done in retaliation for being cheated on first.
However, the common consensus is that getting even with a cheater is more likely to cause more harm for you in the first place. Driven by anger and resentment, people don’t get the relief or satisfaction they’re hoping for when they take revenge by cheating.
Instead, they often feel guilty and ashamed of their actions, leading to even more emotional pain. There’s also the chance of getting caught and facing serious consequences, like the end of your relationship.
Why Do People Seek Revenge: 5 Reasons
Does each episode of cheating end with the urge to take revenge? No, not at all. Five factors have to be met for someone to feel the desire to get revenge on a cheating spouse:
- Actual or perceived injustice: You feel that you’ve been mistreated. This can be because your partner cheated on you or because you think they did (even if they didn’t).
- A belief that revenge will right the wrong: By cheating on your partner, you’ll somehow even score. This may be because you think it will make them feel the pain that you felt or because you think it will break up their relationship.
- The ability to take revenge: You have to be in a position where you can get revenge on a cheater. This may mean that you’re still in a relationship with them, or you could have access to them (for example, if you’re friends with their new partner).
- Moral values and beliefs: You may have different views on what’s acceptable in a relationship, or you may simply not care about the effect that cheating will have on your partner.
- Emotional state: You may feel hurt, angry, or vengeful after your partner cheats on you. Depending on your personality, you may find it difficult to move on without taking some form of revenge.
No matter how it’s done, even the best revenge on a cheater always involves an act of betrayal. And while it may provide momentary satisfaction, it’s essential to consider the possible consequences of taking action.
Consequences of Relationship Revenge Cheating
According to revenge cheating psychology, people who seek revenge often underestimate the potential destruction that can be caused. Not only will revenge cheating damage your relationship, but it could also lead to:
- a loss of respect from your partner
- further mistrust and distance in your relationship
- legal problems, if you take revenge on a cheating spouse
- physical violence, if you take revenge against a cheating partner
Revenge cheating can also harm your own mental and emotional state. It can lead to:
- Feelings of guilt. You may feel guilty about your actions, even if your partner deserved them.
- Anxiety and stress. You may worry about the possible consequences of revenge on a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend, including the effect on your relationship.
- Obsessive thinking. You may obsess over revenge thoughts, which can lead to further anxiety and stress.
- Depression. The negative emotions associated with revenge cheating can lead to depression.
- Loss of self-respect. If your actions violate your values, you may end up losing respect for yourself.
The truth behind any relationship is that control over somebody’s feelings, emotions, and reactions are impossible. If you think that revenge will make your partner feel guilty or change their ways, you will likely be disappointed.
Before considering revenge cheating, it’s essential to ask yourself why. What are your goals? What do you hope to achieve in addition to getting revenge on someone? If your partner is in love with someone else, your actions won’t change that. They’ll see you as pathetic or bitter, your attempts to catch them will backfire, and you’ll feel worse about yourself.
Or, if you stay in the relationship despite your partner’s affair, they may feel remorseful and try to make things up to you. Less likely, but still possible, is that your partner will break up with you after you cheat. They’ll see it as a personal betrayal and feel justified in their actions.
How to Overcome The Urge to Take Relationship Revenge
No one can tell you whether to get revenge on the other woman. That decision is entirely up to you. However, if you decide to forgive your partner or stay in the relationship, there are ways to overcome the urge to cheat.
- Talk to your partner about what happened and how you feel. If they’re willing to listen and try to make things right. You can also try therapy or counseling to help you deal with your feelings. There are also support groups available for people who have been cheated on.
- Tell yourself that emotions are temporary and that these feelings will pass. Remind you of the good times you’ve had with your partner and why you’re staying in the relationship.
- Focus on yourself and your happiness. Psychological reasons for revenge will make you miserable eventually. Work on improving yourself and your relationship with your partner.
- Talk to a friend or family member about what’s happening and how you feel. They can offer support and advice.
- Don’t blame yourself for what happened. It’s not your fault.
- Distance yourself from your partner for a while. This will help you clear your head and decide what to do.
- Don’t ruminate on what happened. Obsessive thoughts will only make you feel worse. You have much more control over your thoughts than you realize.
- Practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment. Accept that what happened was out of your control. There’s no use dwelling on something you can’t change. Focus on what you can control, which is how you react to the situation.
How to Handle Conversation with Partner
We may realize it, but cooling off or distancing ourselves from our partner is a critical moment in handling an affair and cheating revenge. However, at some point, time for conversation is necessary to rebuild the relationship.
The first conversation post-affair should not be about “why” the affair happened but “how” the affair impacted your partner. What did they feel? How did it affect them emotionally and mentally? Your partner needs to feel safe expressing these emotions without feeling like you will judge them.
If you’re the partner cheated on, it’s okay to be scared or hesitant about opening up again. You may not trust your partner enough to confide in them about your desire to get back at a cheating boyfriend. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance.
Their answers and your inner response will help you decide if your partner is remorseful and wants to make things right. However, remember that positive changes don’t happen overnight. It will take time and effort from both of you to rebuild trust.
Cheating Revenge: When Is It Time to Break Up?
Why do people seek revenge? Perhaps, you gave your partner too many chances to change your relationship, but they didn’t take it. If they lie or hide things from you, it may be time to end the relationship.
It’s essential to communicate your needs and wants to your partner. Let them go if they’re unwilling to work on the relationship. Cheating can be a deal-breaker for some people, and that’s okay. You have to do what’s best for you.
The key indicator of whether you should break up is how your partner makes you feel. Look for these warning signs:
- You feel like you’re always walking on eggshells.
- You don’t trust your partner.
- You’re always suspicious of their actions and look for ways to get back at a cheating boyfriend.
- They make you feel bad about yourself.
- The relationship is toxic and causes you stress.
Breaking up may be the best solution if these things are true. You deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship. Don’t settle for anything less.
If you’ve decided that breaking up is your best option, do it respectfully. Avoid any name-calling or blame games. Simply state your decision and why you’ve come to that conclusion.
Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. Perhaps your partner won’t let go of the relationship even though you’ve asked them to. Fear of loneliness or getting even with a cheater can make people fall to their knees and beg for another chance. If this is the case, you must be firm and stand your ground.
Why? The promises made in the heat of the moment are often forgotten soon after. If your partner can’t or won’t let go, you must end things for good.
What If You Take Cheating Revenge on Them?
You were warned one hundred times not to get revenge on your cheating spouse. But you did it anyway. And now you’re feeling guilty, ashamed, and worried about the future of your mental health.
So, how do you cope with these intense emotions and begin to recover? We’ve got some professional tips for you.
1. Talk to someone who will understand and support you.
If you’re feeling lost, scared, or alone, reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, or hotline. Talking about what happened and how you’re feeling can help you process these intense emotions and start to heal.
2. Write down your thoughts and feelings about relationship revenge.
Writing can be a helpful way to express your emotions and sort through your thoughts. It can also help you track your progress as you recover from this challenging experience.
3. Seek professional help if needed.
If you struggle to cope with your emotions, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work through this difficult time.
4. Give yourself time to heal.
Revenge cheating can be a traumatic experience. Give yourself time to grieve, heal, and recover. There is no set timeline for recovery, so go at your own pace.
5. Avoid making any rash decisions about relationship revenge.
It’s essential to avoid making any major decisions while you’re still processing what happened. Wait until you’ve had time to calm down and think things through before making any decisions about your relationship or future.
Cheating revenge can be a difficult and painful experience. Regardless of your side, giving yourself time to heal and recover is essential. If you’re the one who was cheated on, try to avoid making any major decisions until you’ve had time to calm down and think things through.
If you’re the one who did the cheating, be honest with yourself and your partner about what happened and why. Taking responsibility for your actions is an important step in the healing process. No matter what, remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy in all of your relationships.
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