Te Ora i te Whakaponokore: He Aratohu mō te Hunga Kua Tukua

Ko te kitenga i te tinihanga tetahi o ngā wheako tino mamae o te tangata. He maha ngā wā ka puta mai te ohorere, te pōhēhē, te riri, te pōuri, me te wairua hōhonu o te tinihanga i te wā kotahi. Ahakoa nō te hoa rangatira, nō te hoa rangatira rānei te tinihanga, ka taea e ia te whakangaueue i te turanga o te whakawhirinaki, ā, ka tino taumaha rawa atu te oranga o ia rā. Ki te mea kei te pāngia koe e tēnei, kia mōhio koe ka taea te whakaora, ahakoa he āhua koretake i tēnei wā.

Ehara i te mea ko ngā kare ā-roto anake te pānga o te kore whakapono ki te mahi tinihanga—ka pā anō hoki ki te hauora hinengaro, te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, me te kaha ki te whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei. He maha ngā tāngata e pāngia ana e ngā tohu e rite ana ki te whara, pērā i ngā whakaaro pokanoa, te manukanuka, te uaua ki te moe, te wehe atu rānei i te kare ā-roto. He urupare noa ēnei tauhohenga ki tētahi whara kare ā-roto nui, ā, kaua e warewarehia.

Ehara te whakaora i te tinihanga i te tukanga rārangi. Kei roto i tēnei ko te mārama ki ngā mea i tupu, te tukatuka i ngā kare ā-roto uaua, me te whakatau whakaaro nui mō te heke mai o te whanaungatanga. Mō ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine, ka taea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te whakapau kaha. Mō ētahi atu, ko te neke whakamua motuhake te ara hauora.

I roto i tēnei aratohu, ka tūhuratia e tātou me pēhea te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga o muri tata mai i te puremu, te mōhio ki ngā urupare kare ā-roto me ngā urupare hinengaro, me te mārama ki ngā mahi e whai wāhi ana ki te hanga anō i tō ao. Ahakoa e whiriwhiri ana koe ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga, ki te neke atu rānei, ko te whāinga o tēnei tuhinga he whakarato māramatanga, he tautoko, me ngā aratohu whai hua mō tō haerenga whakaora.

He aha te Whakaponokore?

I mua i te peke atu ki te pātai "ka taea e te marena te ora tonu i te tinihanga", me whakamārama tuatahi tātou he aha te tinihanga. He maha ngā huarahi e taea ai te whakamārama i te tinihanga i roto i te marena, engari i te nuinga o te wā, ka puta mai ina takahia e tetahi hoa i roto i tētahi hononga pumau taua whakapau kaha ki te whai i tētahi hononga moepuku, kare ā-roto rānei ki tētahi atu.

He maha ngā huarahi e puta ai tēnei. Hei tauira noa, mēnā he hononga ā-ira tā tētahi hoa ki tētahi atu tangata, engari ka uru atu hoki ki roto ngā mea pēnei i te mātakitaki i ngā pikitia pono, te tuku karere kuputuhi ki tētahi atu i waho o te whanaungatanga, te whakawhanake rānei i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto ki tētahi atu (pēnei i tētahi hoa tata, hoa mahi rānei) e neke atu ana i te rohe ki tētahi mea aroha ake, ā-ira rānei.

He mea nui kia mōhiotia, kāore te puremu e pā tonu ki te tinana me te tangata kē. He maha ngā wā ka pā katoa ki te kare ā-roto.

Hei tauira, me kī atu kua tekau tau kōrua e moe tahi ana, ā, tokorua ā kōrua tamariki nohinohi. I whakaaro tonu koe he tāne pono koe, ā, kāore anō kia kotiti ke i ō kupu taurangi mō te marena.

Engari, i tētahi rā, ka kitea e koe kei te mahi pūremu tāu wahine ki tētahi atu tāne. Kua tuku karere ia ki a ia i ngā hāora katoa o te ao, o te pō, e kī ana i te nui o tōna aroha ki a ia, me tōna hiahia hoki kia noho tahi rāua.

He kitenga whakamataku tēnei māu. Kua hurihia tō ao katoa, ā, kei te mahue koe me te pōuri, te mamae, me te riri.

Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe ka taea e te marena te ora tonu i te kore whakapono. Ko te whakautu he āe, ka taea. Engari he nui te mahi mā kōrua ko tō wahine kia puta ai i tēnei wā uaua.

I ngā wāhanga e whai ake nei, ka hoatu e mātou ētahi tohutohu hei oranga mō te moepuku i roto i tō marena.

6 Ngā Hipanga mō te Hoa Kua Tukua

Kōrero tuwhera tetahi ki tetahi

Mō te "me pēhea te wikitoria i te whanoke," ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Me kōrero kōrua mō ngā mea i tupu, ō kōrua kare ā-roto, me ngā mea e hiahia ana kōrua kia mahia hei whakatika i ngā mea. He uaua pea tēnei kōrero, engari he mea nui.

Rapua he Āwhina Ngaio

"I tinihanga taku tāne, ā, kāore e taea e au te wareware" he tauhohenga noa ki te puremu. Mena kei te uaua koe ki te aro atu ki tēnei mea, he mea nui kia rapu awhina ngaio. Ka taea e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro te whakarato tautoko me te arahi kore whakaaro i a koe e mahi ana i tēnei wā uaua o tō marena. Heoi anō, ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā take matua i whai wāhi pea ki te take o te moepuku.

Tangohia he Wā mōu ake

Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino nui hei mahi i muri i te tinihanga a tō hoa rangatira ko te whai wā mōu ake. He wā uaua tēnei, he wā whakararuraru hoki, nō reira he mea nui kia aro ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Kia tino kai pai koe, kia nui te moe me te whakakori tinana, me te noho tahi me ngā hoa tautoko me ngā mema o te whānau. Hei tāpiri, whakaarohia te tīmata i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou, i tētahi mahi rānei hei āwhina i a koe kia kaua e aro ki ngā mea maha.

Mahi ki te Hanga Anō i te Whakawhirinaki

Kia memeha haere te ohorere tuatahi o te tinihanga, me tīmata koe ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tō marena. Me whai wā, manawanui, me te kaha hoki koe me tō hoa rangatira ki tēnei. Mēnā kei te tino pouri rāua mō tā rāua mahi, ka hiahia rāua ki te whakapau kaha ki te whakahoki mai i tō whakawhirinaki. Me pono kōrua ki a kōrua mō ō kare ā-roto me ō hiahia, me te manawanui hoki i a kōrua e anga whakamua ana i tēnei wā uaua. Tērā pea ka pātai anō koe, "Ka hoki mai anō ngā hoa moepuku" – ko te whakautu i ētahi wā, engari kāore pea. Mēnā ka hoki mai anō tō hoa rangatira, ka nui te mahi a kōrua taha e rua ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki me te whakapakari ake i te whanaungatanga i tōna āhua o mua. Mō ngā wāhanga o te whakaoranga mai i te tinihanga, kāore he wā whakarite, nō reira me whakahaere ngā mea i tō ake tere.

Pātai atu ki a koe

He pātai uaua, kāore he whakautu ngāwari mō te "Me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga" me te "Me pēhea te wikitoria i te tinihanga me te noho tahi". Tērā pea he maha āu pātai mō te mea i tupu, te take i tupu ai, me te mea e whai ake nei. Hei neke atu i tētahi hononga, me whiwhi whakautu koe ki ēnei pātai. Me whai kōrero pono, tuwhera hoki ki tō hoa rangatira. Me hiahia rātou ki te whakautu i ō pātai katoa, ahakoa te uaua. Ki te kore rātou e hiahia ki te mahi i tēnei, he tohu tēnā kāore rātou i te tino pouri mō tā rātou i mahi ai.

Whakatakotoria ētahi ture taketake

Me whakatakoto e koe ētahi ture matua hei whakarērea i tētahi mahi whakaipoipo. Ka rerekē ēnei ture matua i runga i tō āhuatanga, engari me whakauru atu ngā mea pēnei i te kore whakapā atu ki te tangata e whai wāhi ana ki te mahi whakaipoipo, te māramatanga me te pono, me te tirotiro auau tetahi ki tetahi. Ki te kore tō hoa rangatira e whakaae ki ēnei ture matua, he tohu tēnei kāore ia i te rite ki te mahi ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki.

6 Ngā Hipanga mō te Hoa Tūkino

Whakaaetia āu mahi

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi mā te hoa rangatira kore pono ko te whakaae ki tā rāua i mahi. Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te whakaae i moe tāne rāua, me te tango i te kawenga mō ā rāua mahi. Ki te kore tēnei whakaae, kāore e taea te neke whakamua. Mena he moe tāne, ā, kua marenatia ngā taha e rua, me noho tahi te tāne me te wahine, me kōrero mō te mea i tupu.

Kia Tuwhera, kia Pono hoki

Me tuwhera, me pono hoki koe ki tō hoa rangatira mō ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki te mahi pōrearea. Kei roto i tēnei ko te pono mō ngā mea i tupu, ō kare ā-roto, me te take i pērā ai koe. He mea nui anō hoki kia pono ō tumanakohanga mō te heke mai.

Whakaatuhia te Mamae

Whakaaturia te pouri pono mō āu mahi. Ehara i te mea ko te kī noa iho tēnei, "Aroha mai." Me whakaatu e koe e mārama ana koe ki te nui o te mamae i pā mai ki a koe, ā, e tino pouri ana koe mō āu mahi.

Tangohia te kawenga

Kia whai kawenga koe mō tō tūranga i roto i te raruraru. Kei roto i tēnei ko te whakaae i hē koe, me te whakaae ki ngā hua o āu mahi. He mea nui anō hoki kia whai kawenga koe mō tō tukanga whakaora.

Kia Manawanui

He roa te wā e ora ai i muri i te moe tāne. He mea nui kia manawanui, kia mārama hoki ka roa te wā e murua ai tō hara e tō hoa rangatira. I tēnei wā, arotahi ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga.

Rapua he Āwhina

Mena kei te raru koe ki te aro atu ki ngā āhuatanga kino o te moe tāne, whakaarohia te rapu āwhina ngaio. Ka taea e te kaiwhakaora hinengaro te tautoko i a koe me pēhea te whakamutu i te moe tāne, te wikitoria rānei i te tinihanga, me te ārahi i a koe e mahi ana i roto i ngā wero o te hanga anō i tō whanaungatanga.

Whakamutunga

Ko te kore whakapono tetahi o ngā wero tino uaua ka pā ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Engari mā te wā, te manawanui, me te kaha, ka taea te wikitoria i te mamae me te hanga anō i tētahi whanaungatanga kaha, hauora. Ki te mea kei te raru koe i muri i tētahi moepuku, kia mahara kāore koe i te mokemoke, ā, kei reira te āwhina e wātea ana.